Preventing Child Sexual Abuse

Because There Is A Way To Prevent
CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
Copyright 1998 STOP IT NOW! Reprinted with permission.

Develop A Safety Action Plan For Your Family

It is important to teach children about safety. It is just as important to teach ourselves what we need to know in order to keep our children and communities safe. Here are some things that you and your family can do to prevent the sexual abuse of your children. Adults need to:

Take Responsibility

Adults must watch for signs of abuse because many children, especially young ones, are not able to protect themselves sexually.
Show in your own life how to say "no." Teach your children that their "no" will be respected, whether it's in playing or tickling or hugging and kissing. If your child does not want to give Grandpa a kiss, let the child shake hands instead.
Set and respect family boundaries. All members of the family have rights to privacy in dressing, bathing, sleeping, and other personal activities. If anyone does not respect these rights, an adult should clearly tell them the family rules.
Speak up when you see "warning signs" behaviors. Interrupt behaviors and talk with the adult in the situaltion about what is making you uncomfortable. They may need to stop these behaviors.
Report anything you know or suspect is sexual abuse. Without help, the abuse will not stop.

Learn, Teach, and Practice

Practice talking with other adults about the difficult topics, say the words out loud, so that you become more comfortable with using the words, asking questions, confronting behaviors.
Practice talking with both the adults and children in your life about their difficult issues to get them in the habit of talking with you. Show them that you will listen to anything they have to say, even if they talk about something embarrassing or something they've done wrong.
Teach children the proper names of body parts. Just as you teach your children that a nose is a nose, they need to know what to call their genitals. This knowledge gives children correct language for understanding their bodies, for asking questions that need to be asked, and for telling about sexual abuse.
Teach children the difference between ok touch and touch that is not ok. For younger children, teach more concrete rules such as "talk with me if anyone -- family, friend, or anyone else -- touches your private parts." Also teach them that it is not ok to try to touch or control someone else's body.
Teach children that secrets about touching are not ok. If someone touches their body and asks them to keep it a secret, they need to tell you about what happened. If others do not respect their wishes or do not respond to them saying "no" to an activity or a touch, teach them to talk with you about these situations.

Make A Plan

Set up a family action plan that is easy to remember. Make sure that as adults, you know how to challenge each other when you see risky behaviors. List who to talk with when you see something you are unsure about and who to call to report sexual abuse. Teach the children about what to do and who to talk with if they are sexually threatened or molested by someone.
List for yourself who to call for advice, information and help. (Check out our list of resources.) Even if you do not have children of your own, get information about how to report and how to get help for the person abusing. If you know that a child has been sexually abused, be sure to get help for the child quickly, so the harm can be healed.